Work on Your Thinking. This is one of the most effective strategies for coping with negative feelings such as frustration, depression or anxiety that often results when one is living with a chronic unpredictable illness like lupus.
Remember, you feel the way you think:
Avoid thinking in all or nothing ways – I’ll never be able to enjoy the things I like to do again. Counteract this thought with a more positive one. I can still enjoy a lot of things I like, and can I discover new things to do and enjoy.
Avoid jumping to conclusions. I feel tired today, I must be getting another flare-up Counteract this thought with a more likely cause. I feel tired today, I should listen to my body and take it easy today.
Avoid thinking about worse case scenarios. If things don’t start improving fast, I will get fired. Counteract this thought with a more realistic assessment. I have only taken one day off this month and my boss understands my situation. My other co-workers also get sick and nobody here has ever been fired for taking sick days when they were ill.
Learn to say “NO” You don’t have to do something if you don’t have the desire, energy or time! This is by far many of my patients’ favorite homework assignment that I give them. Initially my patients are a little ambivalent about whether saying “NO” can even be an option and often worry about how others will react. With some practice, patients report that saying “NO” is actually much easier than they had expected and people are typically very understanding.
Deborah Da Costa, Ph.D. Assistant Professor Department of Medicine McGill University
Medical Scientist
Division of Clinical Epidemiology
Montreal General Hospital
McGill University Health Centre
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